Empathy: Expressing understanding, a sense of concern or interest in another person’s situation without needing to have the same feelings they may be experiencing.
In a training video I used many years ago, an African American man told a group of other men:
When I look into the mirror I see my black face. I cannot change this; this is who I am and I go to the workplace every day with this black face. So, often, people cannot see beyond it.
The man was stating the obvious about his physical appearance, but also pointing out that people may not get to know him more fully if they have immediate thoughts and emotions about his appearance. In fact, this is a reality that many individuals experience in the workplace. In the model below, Dimensions of Personal Identity (Arredondo, 2017; Arredondo & Glauner, 1992), I propose intersecting dimensions of identity. While the ‘A’ dimensions are the more visible, dimensions ‘B’ and ‘C’ are more invisible, yet very much part of an individual.
Bullying in schools continues to receive deserved and extensive attention. Originally, the focus was on playground and hallway behavior with individuals or groups ganging up on an individual perceived to be weaker, different, or otherwise, a good target for aggression. Boy-on-boy violence today continues to be more commonplace.
The workplace, the setting where individuals go daily to “make a living,” advance their career, and to otherwise contribute to an organization’s mission and bottom line, is a site of daily bullying to both men and women alike.
At work, this guy is always eyeing me up and down; it makes me feel awful.
During our team meetings, one guy invariably interrupts and talks over all of the women, even the team leader; why doesn’t someone call him out?
I shared with my female colleague that her jokes about women were creating an unhealthy dynamic in the department; she told me I was being too sensitive and should join the #metoo movement.
Gender microaggressions are defined as brief and everyday verbal and nonverbal behaviors and environmental conditions that communicate demeaning, hostile, and otherwise sexist insults towards women (Nadal, 2010). Nadal also describes three types of gender microaggressions:
Swim, Hyers, Cohen, and Ferguson (2001) also calls these behaviors “everyday sexism” because they occur so often that they then become taken for granted as typical in that setting. We may all be in settings where everyday sexism is ongoing yet fail to notice but make attributions such as: That’s just John, being John; don’t take him seriously; or Carl is basically a good guy, just from an older generation, calling you sweetheart is not a big deal.
There are many factors and practices that contribute to a welcoming and productive work environment. In our consultation to many work places, we have found different perceptions and experiences about the same place based on individuals’ roles, tenure, and personal dimensions of human diversity.
Engaging emotional IQ is essential in classrooms and the workplace during these times of change. In these settings people come together from different dimensions of personal identity, cultural roots, geographic locations and political preferences. Disappointment for some is jubilation for others and this cannot go unnoticed by business and academic leaders. Responsive leaders know these differing sentiments are being felt and expressed, often causing tensions and hurtful exchanges.